1923 - Toxic Tommy

Read the interesting backstory from the History Notes section.

1882 - Alienation

Americans have spent over a century striving to slow-the-flow of immigrants into the United States.

The jaw-dropping irony of these efforts is, well… jaw-dropping. Noting the high probability that many of our ancestors were immigrants, it seems a tad odd that we might not be eager to welcome more individuals like us – that is to say, immigrants.

Oh well… life is complicated, and history-lessons – especially ones that remind us of our collective immigration behavior - beg to go unnoticed.

Of course, if you’re an alien, it’s a whole different ball game.  Americans will attack you, save the girl and protect the universe from your immigration efforts.

114 AD - Alien Innovation

Aliens are naturally slimy, so it seems logical that native Peruvians would heartly refute these claims – how could a slimy extra-terrestrial stack rocks?  (not to mention, as mentioned in an earlier post, it isimpossible for aliens to visit our planet).  Adding to their disbelief in alien innovation, Peruvians regard their Inca ancestors as perfectly capable of such magnificent architectural achievements.

New Age Cosmologists, and the KKK, continue to disregard the Peruvians as misinformed, uneducated, sub-human life forms incapable of creating the masterpiece of Machu Picchu.  “It’s just too dang complicated for them Incas to have figur’d out” stated a New Age representative.  “Today, in our advanced culture, we can harness and direct energy by utilizing rock-crystals.  Just think about it… how could this ancient civilization engineer such an incredible feat by just using their brains and bust-your-butt labor?”

A thought-provoking question indeed.

1964 - Alien Invasion

Often referred to as the “British Invasion”, when the Beatles arrived in America in 1964 they were truly alien to the older generation.

Despite their misgivings, my parents let my brother and I freely purchase and listen to the Beatles music.  Looking back, I now realize they were truly cutting-edge parents – sacrificing their eardrums for the sake of their children.  

I can only hope that a parallel universe is filled with like-minded parents!

Alien Visitation

Hopefully you discovered 3-interesting facts from today’s history comic.  In review:

1. Historians think (they are not exactly sure) that the first telescope was invented in 1608 – they are also not exactly sure who invented it, but there are a few potential names being tossed around.
2. The remote possibility that aliens might visit planet earth is not even remotely possible.
3. Aliens are always green.

This second piece of information is particularly fascinating… especially considering the fact that there are hundreds of books, movies, clubs, conferences and government bodies discussing the topic of aliens.  As Bill Bryson asserts in A Short History of Nearly Everything, some people even believe that aliens would travel millions of miles simply to leave a nice Crop Circle in a remote Kansas corn field.

Conclusion?  When it comes to aliens, we humans, unfortunately, are not too bright.  To help rectify the situation, let me remind the world what scientists have been saying for years:

ALIENS CANNOT VISIT PLANET EARTH.  EVER.  PERIOD.  AMEN.

If aliens do exist on some far flung planet (and I’m not saying they don’t), they are just too stinking far away to get here.

OK.  Now that we’ve solved that piece of misinformation, let’s move on to a few more interesting alien facts.  Tune in Saturday for our next installment.

1292 - William Wallace and the Fuchsia Memo

1775 - Continental Breakfast

Curious about the origin of the phrase "Continental Breakfast"?  Make sure and read the comments section on our website.  Just click on the image above.

World Cup Rule Change for 2018 - Referees Can Slap Players in the Face!

1780 - Battle of Kings Mountain - Part IV

1780 - Battle of Kings Mountain - Part III